Dia, Segalanya.

Inilah saat dimana yg menguasai diriku bukanlah diriku lagi.
Dia menjadi air dalam hidupku, menguasai 85% dari jiwaku, otakku, tubuhku..
Tapi, apakah aku menyesal?
Tidak, malah benar2 bahagia.. Karena aku mencintainya..


Malam tadi kami bertengkar,cukup hebat..
Kami sudah menjalani hubungan ini 9bulan, dan belum pernah bertengkar sangat hebat (untunglah)
Tapi tadi malam,..
Setelah aku latihan cheers, disitulah masalah dimulai..

Didalam sebuah hubungan, pastilah ada cemburu, protektif, curiga..
That are all human nature.
Seperti dia kemarin..
Dia menanyakan "Are the boys participate also in that cheers group?"
He's a typical man who really don't like his woman being "touch" with anyone else.
And i really know it.
So, after practiced i call him. I was really afraid that he will be misunderstood.
He will be, but i prefer to call him better than just text him..
Aku bilang, iya ada cowoknya..
Tadi latihan gendong (mksudky lift up) jadi latihannya berpasangan..
And absolutely he got mad..

I know he will..
But i don't know he will be mad all night long..
We argued and argued again all night until 2 AM in the morning
Pasti memang susah banget nerimanya.
Walaupun emang cuman dalam conteks "cheerleaders"
Pasti memang susah..
Jadi aku mencoba mengertikan posisinya.
Aku bukan typical cewek yg bergaul biasa dengan laki2.
Aku tidak menyukai (bahkan) duduk berdekatan dengan laki2 lain.
Bila aku saja tidak menyukai apa yg kukerjakan kemarin, bagaimana dengan dy?
Kemarin, dy mengatakan bbrapa hal yg benar2 membuatku sakit..
Dy mengatakan akan merokok, karena kepalanya sakit..
Dr situ air mataku pecah, menetes perllahan.
Dy mengatakan tak ingin berbicara padaku lewat telepon..
Dy mengatakan kepalanya sangan sakit..
Semua membuatku menangis sangat hebat kemarin malam..
Badanku bergetar, hatiku sakit, kepalaku sakit..
I was trembling because of him..
I realize he's everything for me..
He really is .

Tapi, kembali pada ini adalah cheerleaders.
That are all about sport.
So whatever it is, It all in the context. Not more...
I need his believes.
But all he said from yesterday just 'whatever'
I can't say anything..
I wish he can understand it.
Because if he never understand..
It will hurt him, if it hurts him, it will hurt me also..
It will hurt both of us..

I wanna say..
I am really sorry..
But, i need your believes.. I need you, you're my everything..
Please stop angry with me..
Coz i don't know what to do.
I have no spirit for the day..
Keep believe in me..
Cos i love you, I really love you. And i will love you for the rest of my life..

With heart,

Yours